Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
