I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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