Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
