There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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