I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
