Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
