my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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