We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Bring me that man meat
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
