Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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