I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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