please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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