So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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