we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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