I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
