She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
