I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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