please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
