A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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