did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
