You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
