If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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