I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
