Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
