So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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