She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
