Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
