i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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