Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
