You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize