How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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