susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
