he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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