Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
