is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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