so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
