and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
