I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
