I didn't shave. On purpose
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize