Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
