Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
