I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
