im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
