I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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