i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
worst night to have a conscience
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize