oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
