How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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