Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
