anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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