capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
