I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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