community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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