I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
