Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize