everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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