Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
