How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You need Xanax blowdarts
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
