the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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