Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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