Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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