sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
