shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
