Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
All the doctor said was why
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
