All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
