R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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